I’ll Be Watching the Watchmen

The Watchmen is a legendary 12 issue comic created by writer Alan Moore and artist Dave Gibbons, the same men behind the comic V for Vendetta.

Watchmen was a watershed comic because it brought the medium out of its adolescence and into maturity. The characters are exceptionally complicated, the story is intricate, and the themes and morality of the book tend to hover in an extremely gray area. 

The story is about a few former superheroes in America a slightly altered version of 1980s America. The key differences are that Richard Nixon is President, there are superheroes (although only one of them has powers), and the Cold War tensions are running much higher than they actually were. The American people are extremely fearful of the superheroes and a law was passed in 1977 banning their activity. The few that remain in their line of work are either renegades or operating under government contract. 

At it’s core, Watchmen is a gritty “who dun-it” murder mystery.

The book also deals with the unanswerable question, “Who’s watching the watchmen.” – As in, who is overseeing the actions of our police, government, and superheroes. Who keeps tabs on those who have power and authority that extend further than most of your typical citizens.  

I would say more, but I have no interest in giving away the story. I strongly recommend you read the graphic novel. However, if you aren’t so keen on that idea, you can still get your Watchmen fix on March 6, 2009 when the big budget film hits theaters. Check out the latest trailer:

I was apprehensive about the cinemazation of Watchmen, but everything that I have read about director Zack Snyder’s (300) take on the characters indicates that he gets the characters and the story. 

On March 6th, you can find me in my local movie theater. I’ll be watching the Watchmen.

Don’t Give These to Your Kids!

Holy misperception Batman!

The comic industry has one of the worst image problems I have ever seen. It has been my observation that most people view comics as something “for kids.”

In no uncertain terms, they aren’t. The overwhelming number of comics published since the 1980 are for people in their late teens at the earliest. The plots and themes are mature in nature. They aren’t designed for a kid to read and then simulate with an action figure. 

I didn’t start reading comics until I was in college. I thought they were dumb kiddie books. Then my college roommate read them compulsively and kept telling me, “You should read these, they are really well-written and the art is great!” I begrudgingly read an issue because I had concluded that I couldn’t think something was stupid until I gave it a try. My roommate was right. Next thing I knew I was reading four different titles, then eight, and then 12.

Here’s the problem. People who read comics know that they aren’t for kids… but no one else does. When you work in a comic shop you see all sorts of different people come in and out of the store, male, female, young, old, wackos, and professionals in suits and ties. The age range is what is so interesting. There are so many lifelong readers. Yet there are so few new, young readers.

Wonder Woman painted by comic writer/artist Alex Ross.

In spite of the massive Hollywood success that comic-based movies have seen, the comics that these movies are based off of haven’t seen the gigantic influx of new readers that one would expect (This observation comes from things I’ve read and comic shop owners I have spoken with).

So, what’s the disconnect? The Dark Knight was a great movie, but it still doesn’t hold a candle to Batman at his best in the comics. The Spider-Man movies suck compared to some of the classic stories. V for Vendetta was a great movie, but it wasn’t even in the same league as the book. Sin City was basically a page-by-page remake of the comic. League of Extraordinary Gentlemen was a steaming pile of poo, but the original series was exceptional.

Here’s the problem. Comics have become completely inaccessible for new readers for two reasons:

1. Stigma – “Comics are for kids!” Adults who enjoy the movies and feel an attachment to the characters are deterred from reading comics because they are actually embarrassed to do so. It’s sad but true.

I know a lot of comic readers who walk into their local comic shop looking over their shoulder and don’t tell their friends where they are going like there are about to meet with a prostitute or buy drugs (now that I think about it, I think that the potheads I know are more open about their drug habit than most of the comic readers I know are regarding their penchant for superheroes).

Let me be clear. These books are good. They are intelligently written, and the characters are relatable.

Reading comics has helped me gain perspective, and improve my life, and I am not ashamed to say so. A few years ago, I had a really rough stretch and I couldn’t find happiness in my life until I read a conversation between Peter Parker and Aunt May (I’m not even a fan of Spider-man… I read that book because a friend insisted that I do so). That dialog literally helped me find my way back to happiness.

2. The stories are inaccessible for new readers – Most of the major titles from Marvel and DC have been woven into this very complex tapestry. The stories are all interrelated, and cross paths with each other. Not only that, but they have extensive histories to boot.

So let’s say you want to read Batman. If you picked up last weeks issue on a whim without knowing anything else about the current Batman series or the greater DC Comics Universe, you would be completely lost. The story that is about to wrap-up has been brewing for a couple of years! On top of that, it ties into the current overarching story (or event) for the DC Universe known as Final Crisis.

Final Crisis is an extremely extensive story that spans over countless titles, and it is the result of years and years of buildup from other event stories.

Basically, it’s become hard to just pickup a comic and read. That being said, if you are willing to go back and read this stuff from the beginning, it will be very rewarding. Give it a shot, read the graphic novel Identity Crisis (in my opinion, that book gave birth to the modern DC Universe). It is an extremely compelling crime drama.

Anyway, a comic creator named Robert Kirkman sparked debate about the future of the comic industry with his Kirkman Manifesto video.

He raises a lot of points, some I agree with, some I disagree with. If you want some counterpoint check out the debate between him and comic creator Brian Bendis.

What matters here is the point that most current comics aren’t for kids, and that the industry is supported by an aging readership. A way to start reading is to pickup some creator owned work. Over the coming weeks I am going to begin writing about some of the titles you could pick up if you want to give comics a shot, but don’t want to jump into a robust universe that will require homework and study to fully appreciate.

Bat-Nipples & the Worst Movie Ever Made

Happy New Year!
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What are Bat-Nipples? 

You might be wondering that if you took a gander at REL’s post. If you already know what they are, you probably had a good chuckle as I did.

For those who aren’t “in the know,” here’s a bit of Batman movie history for you.

After making two great Batman movies, Batman (1989) and Batman Returns (1992), director Tim Burton departed from the franchise. A director by the name of Joel Schumacher took the helm of the Bat-Boat and charted a course for campy crap land. 

Batman Forever (1995) … something was off about this Batman. The costume had some odd and extremely obvious rubber nipples… but the movie wasn’t too awful.

Then came Batman & Robin (1997), and what a steaming pile of crap that movie was.

I’m not exaggerating, this movie was a special kind of bad. If you haven’t seen it, count your blessings. In order to save you some pain, and maybe get a few laughs at Mr. Schumacher’s expense, I present to you, Batman & Robin condensed down to 10 minutes (The maximum allowable dosage of Batman & Robin according to FDA guidelines… this video actually really funny):
 

Not only was the movie terrible on an epic level, but along with all of the camp, bad writing, acting, costumes, and editing, the Bat-Nipples were back, and bigger than ever. To top  it off, Mr. Schumacher’s ultra tight shots of the character’s chests, crotches, and rear-ends only served to underscore the significance of these oddities. 

 

Batman's Bat-Nipples

Close Enough

Bat-Nipples and Batman & Robin in general have been a punch-line in the geek community ever since. 

To top all of this off, Mr. Schumacher actually ended up apologizing fans for Batman & Robin:
 

Sometimes sorry isn’t good enough Mr Schumacher.

Sin Spirit

I just got back from seeing The Spirit, and it wasn’t what I was hoping for.

The movie was visually stunning. Director Frank Miller did a spectacular job of mingling his own visual style with that of Will Eisner’s. Miller’s use of silhouettes, shadows, and especially snow looked beautiful and also paid homage to Eisner’s illustration innovations. I was worried that Miller’s limited use of color and ubiquitous use of green screen effects would make it look and feel like another Sin City clone, but it actually worked well on a visual level.

However, the story and dialog were a real let down. The movie was overacted for the most part, except for Sarah Paulson’s portrayal of Ellen Dolan. She rocked.

Sarah Paulson as Ellen Dolan

The characters were pretty thin albeit very good looking. Samuel L. Jackson looked like he was having a blast playing lead villain, the Octopus. I wish I had half as much fun watching him, as he seemed to have playing the part.

The story took a turn for the supernatural in the opening scenes and never looked back. This was a huge disappointment because the Spirit should be a bit more grounded. I felt like Marv from Sin City was going to show up and help our hero on his skull-bashing quest. The violence and story just never felt like it was tethered to reality, and that’s coming from a geek who has no problem suspending his disbelief. I also don’t have any issues with Miller’s hyper violent comics. I just don’t think it was completely appropriate in this particular movie.

Another problem were the massive changes to the characters themselves. Big changes from the source material to core characters like Sand Saref (Eva Mendes), Ellen Dolan, and the Octopus were made in what seemed like an effort to shoehorn as many characters as possible (also known as Batman & Robin Syndrome).

Miller did get the spirit of The Spirit correct: The detective work, the alluring fem fatales who always seem to get the better of our hero, the villain banter, and the imagery all felt right. They just lacked a strong plot and compelling acting to draw them together.

There were a few subtle details that were hidden in the movie for comic geeks:

Early in the movie, the camera pans over a street sign for “Iger Street.” Jerry Iger was Will Eisner’s business partner.

Another subtle reference was the delivery truck in the climatic battle was for “Ditko Delivery.” Steve Ditko was a comic creator who was heavily inspirited by Eisner.

To sum up, the movie is very pretty, but isn’t particularly enthralling. If you like great visuals, you should check it out. I hope Miller gets another chance direct and learns from some of The Spirits shortcoming.

Carl Weathers for Governor

Very late last night I couldn’t sleep, so I turned the TV on and found the American classic Predator (1987). In addition to the killer acting and a logically flawless plot, I couldn’t help but notice the amount of political success that the stars of that movie have had. Both Jesse Ventura and Arnold Schwarzenegger were elected governor.

That gave me the bright idea that Carl Weathers was next. I was going to write this post endorsing Weathers for governor of the great state of New York… but it turns out someone already beat me to the punch. Someone named Carl Weathers!

X-Men Origins: Wolverine

I really wanted to write about “Privacy Mode” tonight, but I’m just too tired. I will post about it tomorrow.

For now, I leave you with an action packed trailer for the upcoming Wolverine movie. I’m not sure if it will be good, but based on the trailer, I’m confident it will have some good fight scenes.

Back tomorrow with more substance.

If you’re going to do it, at least be smart about it… Piracy that is

I really am opposed to software piracy… but I also realize that asking geeks to stop pirating movies, music, software, comic books, or anything else that can be converted into a digital format is a bit like telling teenagers, “Don’t have sex.”

So, what I will say is, if you are going to pirate, be smart about it.

What do I mean?

Most important, always use protection. Please have virus protection on your computer. There are a lot of fake songs, movies, games, etc that are actually viruses. 

Also, and I really cannot stress this enough… be mindful of who you are pirating from. While I don’t endorse stealing from anyone, and make no mistake, that’s what piracy is… You should never, ever pirate indy movies, or albums from small bands.

A lot of smaller bands and movie makes struggle to make their art for the world. They work long hours in jobs they hate, so they can spend even longer hours trying to make a dream come true… and most of them will never make much money from their art. Don’t be an asshole and steal from these people.

… wait until they make it, and are rich. Then it’s not so bad.

Always remember to practice safe computing.

The Key to an Epic Movie

Why are movies like Indiana Jones (Raiders of the Lost Arc & Last Crusade), Star Wars, the Lord of the Rings, and so many WWII movies, amazing? 

I believe I have discovered the secret. 

The answer: generic, absolute “bad baddies” 

I’m talking about lots of people or people-like enemies that the heroes can slaughter in horrible ways, and no one feels bad about it.

Think about it. In these movies, the heroes kill tons of people, frequently making jokes about it. You don’t watch it and think to yourself, “war is a tragedy.” You think, “Wow… that looks like fun… and those bastards deserve it!”  

Stormtroopers, evil robots, orcs, and my personal favorite generic baddie, Nazis. Man, you can do anything to a Nazi in a movie (or a video game for that matter), and it is completely fine because the viewer has, and should never have any level of sympathy for these generic absolute evil baddies. Even if you think Darth Vader is cool, badass, and tragic, you still don’t care what happens to the Stormtroopers, or all of the people who die when the Death Star blows up.