Guitar Hero Van Halen Review

I received this game for free in the mail a few weeks ago. It came as a promotion for purchasing Guitar Hero 5; a stellar game.

The Good:

It’s Guitar Hero. If you like pressing five colored buttons and strumming really quickly, then you will probably be pleased to have some new songs to play.

Some of the later songs are quite difficult which is essential for seasoned players.

If you love David Lee Roth era Van Halen, then you should be happy with the track list.

All songs come unlocked.

Shredding on Eruption was the high point of the game.

The Not So Good:

The graphics are dated.

The character models look uninterested and awkward. Graphics don’t make the game in Guitar Hero, but this version is still a noticeable step back as compared to Guitar Hero 5.

"Gee Dad, we sure look like shit!"

Some of the non-Van Halen songs are downright odd. The Offspring’s Pretty Fly (for a White Guy), and Fountain of Wayne’s Stacey’s Mom standout as the oddest songs in the game. Why they are included is beyond me.

The Ugly:

If you were hoping for some Sammy Hagar era Van Halen… I’ve got nothing for ya. Not a single Van-Hagar track in the game.

Guitar Hero Van Halen feels hollow, like no one from Activision or the Van Halen camp gave a crap about it while it was in production. No love, no heart, and no fun unless you have particular attachment to the songs in the game.

The Bottom-line:

I received this game for free and I didn’t want to play it for more than twenty minutes. It’s completely uninspired.

When you compare it to a refined game like The Beatles Rock Band, it looks even worse. The Beatles Rock Band was created with the utmost care and love. It’s creators carefully covered all of the band’s eras, and paid homage to their history.

Guitar Hero Van Halen leaves out significant portions of Van Halen’s history, ignores tons of great songs, and mixes in music that is remarkably out of place.

I got what I paid for. If you plan to shell-out money to get this game, do yourself a favor and buy something else.

Guitar Hero Van Halen is a steaming pile of poo.

The Geek Whisperer Review of Guitar Hero 5

“No Doubt” & Courtney Love Need to Stop Suing Activision

“No Doubt” is suing Band Hero (and Guitar Hero) maker Activision over their appearance in the game (GameSpy).

Allegedly, the band’s contract with Activision dictates that the band member’s avatars can only be used on their own songs, but they are fully playable characters in the game. This means that players can appear as say, Gwen Stefani on any song in the game.

Apparently this is damaging to the members of “No Doubt.”

Someone screwed up badly, and only time will tell who it was. Either…

1. “No Doubt’s” lawyers dropped the ball or…
2. Activision breached their contract.

I don’t know how it actually went down, but either way, this is pathetic.

At the end of the day, I don’t see how the members of “No Doubt” are actually damaged and deserving of financial reward on account of this, but I’m sure their lawyers would be happy to explain why I’m wrong. By the same token, Activision needs to get their shit together and make sure that the artists that they put in their games understand, and are happy with their role within it, as the very same thing happened with Guitar Hero 5, and their use of Kurt Cobain.

Speaking of the late Mr. Cobain…

Cobain’s wife Courtney Love complained that the ability for players to use Cobain on any song in the game, including a lot of pop and electro-crap that he probably would hate was damaging to his legacy. Normally I would agree. Cobain was a revolutionary figure in music, popular culture, hell, culture in general. Having him play a song like “Play That Funky Music” is degrading. Then I saw this commercial for Nicktoons that is set to Nirvana’s “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (Sorry, I can’t embed this one, but it’s worth watching).*

I’m sure that the same lawyer who approved the deal with Activision over Cobain’s appearance along with the song “Smells Like Teen Spirit” in Guitar Hero 5, had to approve the deal with Nicktoons as well. I can’t imagine that Cobain would have liked that commercial.

So, “No Doubt” & Courtney Love, let’s cut this shit out. Everyone got paid and these games introduce the music of “No Doubt” and Nirvana to a younger generation. Everyone is making money, and that’s all that you folks really want at this point.

* That commercial really does break my heart.

Guitar Hero 5 Review

This is the first of a few “better late than never” game reviews.

The Good

The revamped multiplayer mode is exceptional. Having the game boot right into a party play mode that never stops is brilliant. Players can join or drop at will, no one fails out, and anyone can play any instrument on any difficulty (which means you have have four people playing guitar). It’s perfect during big geeky parties.

The graphics are very pretty.

The ability to use your own Xbox Live avatar in game is freakin’ awesome. I love that I am able to import myself into the game, make a guitar that looks just like my wine red Gibson Les Paul Studio, and rock out on stage to a song like The Derek Trucks Band’s Young Funk.

The Not So Good

I’m not sure this is really a problem with the game, but the track list is so broad and diverse that inevitably you spend a fair amount of time jamming on songs that you just plain dislike (even if you have broad musical tastes). I’m not sure there is a way around this other than band, or genre specific games (Like Guitar Hero: Aerosmith, Guitar Hero: Metallica, and The Beatles Rock Band).

The Ugly

Why the hell can’t Activision make a guitar controller with a silent strum bar? I hate all of the incessant clicking, and so does everybody in the room when you are playing.

The Bottom-line

If you like music rhythm games, it’s worth the money. If you don’t, this probably won’t convert you.

Halo 3: ODST, Firefly & Guitar Hero 5

Halo 3: ODST

I just watched  the newest trailer for Halo 3: ODST.

As I was watching, I kept feeling like the voice of the guy narrating was very familiar… then it hit me! It’s the voice of the coolest sci-fi hero since Han Solo; Malcolm Reynolds, Captain of the Serenity. Well, actually it’s actor Nathan Fillion, but you know what I mean. As the trailer progressed, I realized that they are also using his likeness.

Just to be sure that I was correct before blogging about it, I looked the game up on IMDB and saw that Fillion isn’t the only Firefly alum in the game. Alan Tudyk and Adam Baldwin, as well as Battlestar Galactica veteran Tricia Helfer all play prominent roles in the game. All they need now are a couple voices from Star Trek and Star Wars, and they will have geek “bingo.”

It’s worth watching this one in HD:

Browncoats (Firefly fans) everywhere will be able to follow the Captain into battle when Halo 3: ODST hits store shelves on 9/22/09.

What can I say… Browncoats are excitable, and I am a not ashamed to identify myself as one.

Guitar Hero 5

In other video game news, Activision Blizzard released the complete track list for Guitar Hero 5:

You can view the complete list on GameSpot.

Some of the songs that stand out to me at first glance include:

• Dire Straits – “Sultans of Swing”
• Nirvana – “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
• Queen & David Bowie – “Under Pressure” (coolest baseline ever) (Vanilla Ice sucks)
• Bob Dylan – “All Along the Watchtower”
• The Derek Trucks Band – “Young Funk” (Derek Trucks is the man)
• Gov’t Mule – “Streamline Woman”
• Iron Maiden – “2 Minutes to Midnight”
• Jeff Beck – “Scatterbrain (Live)”
• King Crimson – “21st Century Schizoid Man”
• Peter Frampton – “Do You Feel Like We Do? (Live)”
• The Rolling Stones – “Sympathy for the Devil”
• Santana – “No One to Depend On (Live)”

There are many more great ones, but those really stand out to me, and a lot of them surprise me a bit.

Guitar Hero 5 is due out on 9/1/09.

Fancy Pants Guitar Hero Controller

Peripheral maker, Logitech is releasing a $200 Guitar Hero controller for the Xbox 360. They already released one of these for the PS2 & PS3.

The controller is made out of wood (it has a maple neck), has metal frets, strums quietly, is a licensed Xbox 360 product, and is built to the proper size specifications of standard Guitar Hero controllers.

If you are thinking about buying this, please stop.

I’m all for Guitar Hero, but at $200 you can get yourself a starter guitar and amp (the real kind). If you are willing to drop two-hundo on a fake guitar, maybe it’s time to try the real thing.

For the very same price you can buy a Fender Strat Squire pack. The pack includes everything you need to start playing. It’s not exactly a fancy instrument, but it’s a great place to start and see if it sticks.

Say no to $200 video game controllers, and say yes to the real thing.

The Song Remains the Same

As you may know, I like Guitar Hero. It’s a fun game, but the Guitar Hero/ Rock Band franchises are getting played out.

Yesterday marked the formal announcement of Guitar Hero 5, Band Hero, Guitar Hero: Van Halen, and DJ Hero.

You can add that to Rock Band The Beatles and Lego Rock Band – yes, you read that last one correctly, and no, it is not a typo.

Here’s the thing… Guitar Hero was hugely innovative (emphasis on “was”). It is still a fun game and franchise, but there are too many versions and I know I am getting tired of it.

There better be something special about each of these games. Now, I am not just going to point out flaws without offering solutions, so I come bearing ideas.

Rock Band The Beatles

This game can be bold and different!

As the game progresses, the audience should become so loud that you cannot hear the music over the screaming crowd.

The band’s score should be completely unaffected by the performance of the drummer.

If you are playing at home, you should also put fourth a serious effort to dislike at least one of other person in the band.

Lego Rock Band

The Lego series of games is strikingly good, but I think we can all agree that this game has no right to exist. Spicing it up is a must.

I think that the Lego band should be playing in dangerous locations. If the band fails a song, they are destroyed. Here are a few examples.

• The stage is a dog bowl. If you fail, a bulldog eats the little guys.
• The band is playing in a microwave. Failure turns on the microwave and everyone into little puddles. FATALITY!
• Something with firecrackers.

Guitar Hero 5 & Band Hero

I’ve got nothing. I hope they continue to improve the experience and pick good songs. Making both of these feels unnecessary.

Guitar Hero: Van Halen

The game must find a way to foster conflict between the guitarist and vocalist, ultimately forcing the band to change vocalists between sets. Prior to the last set, the bass player get’s the boot and is replaced with the guitarist’s son.

On a side note, I like Van Halen in small doses. I am also not so big on tapping. This game would have to come with an incredible track list for me to buy it.

DJ Hero

Oh boy! This game had better be magical.

I am looking into the future, and future me HATES everything about this game, from the stupid controller, to the repetitive clubbing music that will make me want to vomit.

And I thought a plastic guitar was stupid

I hope they do something cool with this, but the concept seems derivative and boring.

Guitar Hero: Metallica Reviewed

I just spent a few hours giving the brand new Guitar Hero: Metallica (GHM) a test drive and I can confidently make two conclusions:

1. It’s fun
2. It’s hard as hell

Let’s be clear, if you don’t like Guitar Hero or Metallica, this game is not for you.

The Good

Learning from the deficiencies of Guitar Hero: Aerosmith (which was still a good game), GHM starts off on career mode with two killer Metallica classics, For Whom the Bell Tolls & The Unforgivien.

I honestly can’t think of a better opening track for this game than For Whom the Bell Tolls. I’m not ashamed to admit that I got really into playing that song.

At the end of each song, the standard “You Rock” screen features the fist from the cover of St. Anger (2003) in a fun animation. I think that the cover of St. Anger is the only cool part of the whole album, so thumbs up on using it well.

The graphics and character models are far superior to anything we have seen in previous music games. The band’s movements and facial expressions are spot on thanks to some great motion capture and rendering work.

The sound quality is also out of this world on most of the tracks. I love the mixes in this game.

It also has some amazing songs.

From the Metallica library:

For Whom the Bell Tolls, The Unforgivien, Fade to Black, Battery, Creeping Death, Disposable Heroes, Enter Sandman, Fuel, Hit the Lights, Master of Puppets, Nothing Else Matters, No Leaf Clover, One, Orion, Sad But True, Seek & Destroy, Welcome Home (Sanatarium), Wherever I May Roam, and Whiplash are all incredible songs.

GHM also includes a number of other songs from bands that either inspired or were inspired by Metallica. Some of the ones that really stand out to me are:

Thin Lizzy’s The Boys Are Back in Town, Mastodon’s Blood and Thunder, Queen’s Stone Cold Crazy, and Lynyrd Skynyrd’s Tuesday’s Gone (which always reminds me of the movie Happy Gilmore).

As I mentioned from the beginning, this game is tough. Far harder than any other Guitar Hero or Rock Band game that has preceded it – It is the nature of the source material. Metal is fast and intricate. The difficulty is refreshing as there must be countless Guitar Hero fans who can breeze through 90% of the songs on expert without putting in much effort (That’s how I felt playing Guitar Hero World Tour). The guitar parts in GHM are rediculous, especially the Kirk Hammett shred solos – I love playing shred solos in Guitar Hero!

If the guitar is difficult, the drums are %&^*ing insane! I feel like playing with the second kick pedal that is required for Expert +mode would be fun if I was coordinated enough to do it.

The Not So Good

Almost no downloadable content. The only downloadable content that works or will work for GHM is the Death Magnetic (2008) album. It’s nice, but that album is not their best work.

I also feel like there were some classic songs that really should be in the game:

Looking at the tracks that were selected from Metallica’s first album Kill ‘em All, they only included songs that are credited to living and current members of the band. This leaves out classics like The Four Horsemen and Cliff Burton’s elongated bass solo (Anesthesia) Pulling Teeth.

Other songs that are conspicuously missing are: Ride the Lightning, The Call of Ktulu (like The Four Horsemen, writing credit goes to Dave Mustaine of Megadeth), …And Justice for All, Bleeding Me, and Hero of the Day (I love the version from S&M). The absence of these songs isn’t a deal-breaker by any stretch of the imagination, but they are sorely missed (Especially The Call of Ktulu & (Anesthesia) Pulling Teeth).

I have one final gripe about gameplay.

In Guitar Hero World Tour, the feature of holding lower notes while playing higher notes was introduced. I’m not crazy about all of the applications of this feature. For instance, on the song Nothing Else Matters, the opening riff is a series of open notes. Playing it on a real guitar is a no brainer. Playing it in Guitar Hero, while not difficult, isn’t very easy. A similar problem arrises in the opening riff of Fade to Black. The riff is a heck of a lot harder to play in Guitar Hero than it is on guitar because of this awkward game feature that doesn’t feel necessary or make much sense. I recognize that Guitar Hero and playing guitar have very little to do with one another, but the feature itself just doesn’t make sense to me.

The Roundup

This is a good game. Not perfect… but how many games are?

If you like Guitar Hero and Metallica – Buy it.

If you like Guitar Hero but find the previous installments too easy – Buy it.

… and when you play, play it loud.

"The Unforgiven"

Geeking Out with iGoogle

iGoogle is Google’s customizable homepage. You can easily create your own and add all manner of tools and toys. 

One of the customizable aspects of the page is the theme. Today Google has added a number of geeky themes to their arsenal. 

The new collection includes Mario, Guitar Hero, Tomb Raider, Magic the Gathering (I should really write post about Magic at some point), World of Warcraft, Street Fighter IV, Zelda, Mega Man, and Galaga (for those geeks who are looking to kick it old-school) among others. 

An ape named Donkey

5 Steps of Guitar Hero Addiction

If you’ve ever seen someone play Guitar Hero, you’ve probably had the same five step reaction that everyone has:

1. First you think the person with the plastic guitar in their hands is a total dumb-ass. You look at the brightly colored buttons and think, “I would never be caught dead playing that. It doesn’t even look fun,”
2. Then you stand there watching because the music is good, and there is something about the game, and the idiot playing it that keeps your attention in some strange way that you cannot explain.
3. Soon you find yourself thinking, “That can’t be too hard. I bet I could play that.”
4. Next thing you know, you’re the dumb-ass with the plastic guitar in your hands.
5. Shortly after you find that you are hesitant to give the plastic guitar back to your friend.

Why is it so much fun to jump around with a fake guitar in your hands?

It’s not really different from any other video game experience. If you have a desire to race cars, play professional football, blast out a crazy solo in a gigantic arena, shoot Germans on the beaches of Normandy, dogfight over the pacific, or slaughter aliens in a far away galaxy, video games let you do that. It’s just good escapism.

It’s also a great, nonviolent, accessible game for everyone. Female, male, young, or old; there are songs for everyone.

Anyone who has ever played guitar (for real) and tried out Guitar Hero knows that they don’t have much in common, but that’s not the point. They are two different skills serving different purposes. A lot of musicians don’t quite get that. I know some great guitarists who get so pissed off that they aren’t good at Guitar Hero (and some great Guitar Hero players who absolutely suck at playing guitar).

I play guitar and I play Guitar Hero. Nine times out of ten, I will pick my real guitar, but every once in a while I need to escape to my magical video game land where a packed arena is cheering for me as I play Free Bird.

My Halloween Costume (2008)

Video Games to Play in 2009

I spent some time taking a look at the games that are due to hit store shelves in 2009 (baring delays, which are quite common in the video game industry). Here are eight games in no particular order from a number of different genres that I’m excited about:

• Ghostbusters (6/16): The Ghostbusters hold a special place in my heart. As my first childhood geek obsession, I love the Ghostbusters. The information that is available makes me even more excited. The gameplay sounds excellent and voice acting is performed by the original guys themselves! I can’t wait to be knee-deep in ectoplasmic goo with a small nuclear reactor strapped to my back. Come June, I might just have to cross the streams. 

• Guitar Hero: Metallica (3/29): Guitar Hero is awesome! Metallica are jerks… but they’re awesome! I’m certain that it will eclipse the previous Guitar Hero games in difficulty by simple virtue of it’s source material. I also have no doubt that this game will rock the proverbial socks. Get your coolest pajamas, find a comfortable place on your couch, and prepare to shred on a plastic guitar! 

• Halo Wars (3/3): When the first Halo was in production prior to the release of the first X-Box, it was meant supposed to be a third person game. Then it evolved into the best first person shooter ever. Halo was the sole reason I bought an X-Box, and the only game I owned for the console for a really long time. With two other insane sequels, the fourth installment is about to arrive in a very different form. This will be a realtime strategy game. You will command entire armies into glorious battle. The graphics are stunning and I’ve read that the controls are easy and efficient. A religious war never looked so fun. 

• Street Fighter IV (2/17): The classic fighting franchise is back with a new beautiful look. I’ve heard that the fighting system is exceptional and I’m looking forward to getting my hands on this one.

 

• Heroes Over Europe (3/17): Growing up I played a lot of flight simulators and aviation action games because my father loved airplanes, and I didn’t have a lot of money to buy video games. I still have a soft spot for aviation games. It’s been a while since I was in a good dogfight and I have high hopes that this game will provide just that.

 

 

• Batman: Arkham Asylum (5/1): While many Batman video games have missed the mark, I’m confident that this one will truly represent Batman’s badassery. Expect a rant if it doesn’t.

 

 

• Splinter Cell: Conviction (6/30): Sam Fisher’s coming back for more stealthy spying, crazy gadgets, and silent killing. The best stealth action franchise returns with what I’m sure will be another great installment. Splinter Cell is always a sure bet for a good game.

 

• Sonic’s Ultimate Genesis Collection (2/10): A collection of 40 classic Sega Genesis games. The set includes quite a few of the original Sonic games, Ecco the Dolphin, Streets of Rage 1, 2, & 3, Vectorman 1 & 2, Comix Zone, and Golden Axe 1, 2, & 3 among many others. This is a must have for the old-school gamer.

Those are the games I’m looking forward to. Maybe I will find enough time to actually play some of them.