Author Archive for rellbell

11
Apr
09

My computer is dying! yay!

My computer is dying.  A slow and painful death.

It hums.  It moans.  It groans.  It hisses.

It gurgles at me.

Apparently this is the sound of a laptop’s motherboard and hard drive simultaneously giving up.

I’ve had this HP Pavilion since August 03, the summer before I left for college.  It’s survived.  I used it for three and half years of school, during which I’m sure a few droplets of a Malibu Baybreeze here or there caressed it’s insides.  I ferried it back and forth to the city when my job demanded it of me.  It survived countless moves from CT back to NY for vacations or residency changes.  It was the little engine that could.

This computer has always been on the verge of death.  I don’t know how many times David has reformatted this thing and slowly brought it back from the grave.  I’ve had to send it back to HP in the middle of the semester my junior year so they could tinker with, never mind how many papers I’ve lost because hey, maybe it will just turn off mid-sentence.  I’ve brought it to computer centers, and even those morons from Best Buy’s Geek Squad have had the pleasure of trying to resuscitate this thing.

Oh, how nice.  As I type this I hear and feel this machine struggling with life.  It’s as though a rumble pack is attached to it.

My CD drive is completely broken.  It’s missing essential programs and system operations.  The fans don’t work so I use a cooling pad underneath it.  The screen can’t be lowered, and the mechanism that dims the monitor had to be turned off since it would spaz out and go to black.  I’ve seen the blue screen of death numerous times in the past two years.  Some days the internet access slows down so much that everything constantly times out.  I can’t access the button functions on the side to control the volume.  It’s eaten through a pair of speakers.  Sometimes it decides to disable my security programs and all of my USB ports are loose.

Did I mention the gurgling?

HP as a brand and in terms of durability isn’t totally worthless, but their customer service, troubleshooting and warranties all are. However this laptop has definitely prevailed where other better treated and maintained machines have crumbled. Seriously, I have never taken good care of it.

The advice that David has given me, that you should all follow as well, is BACK UP what is precious to you.  I’ve put most of the things I care about on my external hard drive already, and will continue to do so until my laptop officially expires.

Share with me the experience of my computer’s impending doom!  If my computer had an iPhone (or was a sentient being for that matter..) it would totally have the iDie app on it.  But unlike the zombies I love so much, when this thing dies again, I don’t think it be able to rise from it’s own digital ashes.

At least I can still read my favorite web sites!

At least I can still read my favorite web sites!

25
Mar
09

Remember kids, you don’t have to reload a pick-axe!

Whilst facestalking, I came across a rather interesting site from a friend’s new profile picture.  Since I believe I’m destined to one day become a vigilante with my friend Steven Fleet, I’ve jumped the gun, or rock pick if you will and picked out my costume… the name needs a little work, but I’m liking what I’ve got so far:

Remember kids, you don't have to reload a pick-axe!

Remember kids, you don't have to reload a pick-axe!

You can design your own super hero identity here: The Hero Factory
Added Bonus: Cheesy 80s background music!

12
Mar
09

(Don’t) Be very, very quiet…

I like music. That’s an understatement. I LOVE music.

I’ve been into music since I was in the womb. No really, I have been. I can’t play it worth a damn, but boy do I love listening. When I first got my new car, it came with XM radio. Although sometimes it felt like it wasn’t much different than the normal radio in terms of variety, I did get turned onto a bunch of new bands. And the whole tell-me-exactly-what-i’m-listening-too feature was great. Oh, how i miss thee XM.

Another great way to find out new music, or get your greedy little piratey hands on singles, are music blogs. Music blogs will either be naughty and steal music and upload it to servers for people not quite unlike myself to download until the record labels tell them to take it down, or record labels will be AWESOME AND NOT EVIL and allow these sites to host new and unreleased tracks. Either way, it allows people to share the music that they love with others. If you like one band, there’s a good chance there’s a similar band on these online mixtapes.

The Hype Machine is my favorite search engine to find songs. You can get great live tracks, covers, hard to find b-sides, and so many other great new bands that you never even knew existed. You can listen to most of the songs without even leaving the homepage, or you can troll through the blogs they compile.  Using the “Spy” feature on the site, you can even see what other people around the globe are listening too!  How RAD is that? (Read this post’s comments, you’ll get that last bit)

Happy Hunting!!

07
Mar
09

“first, let’s get you into something that won’t get me arrested for solicitation…”

Last night, instead of doing things like writing any number of Geek Whisperer posts I’ve been promising to David, I watched the new Wonder Woman animated feature. I thought it was great. Uplifting. Powerful. Pulsating…? Getting an image in your head?  No, your other one.  I’m talking about the penis.  Oh, yes, because although it’s certainly an inspiration to little girls everywhere, what with the female empowerment and all, it’s also an inspiration to teenage boys’ genitals.

If only they drew it from the other side...

If only they drew it from the other side...

The only reason women wear layers is to taken them off

The only reason women wear layers is to taken them off

Wonder Woman

I know what you’re thinking.  You’re shocked that I’m using DC characters in a sexually explicit blog post.  But come on!  Here you have the new version of Wonder Woman, and yet she’s never been so close to her original character.  Remember David’s post about the perverse nature of her original arcs?

This movie really makes the innuendos for me…

Subtle innuendo?

Subtle innuendo?

I definitely recommend this movie for any fans and would be fans out there… but don’t show it to your 13 year old brother/nephew/son/etc. unless you want sticky socks in your washing machine.

****SPOILER****

This movie has zombie Amazons in it!  Added Bonus!

06
Feb
09

Yeah, I smell a pork product of some type…

I know I haven’t written in a while, and I’m mostly a little bit sorry about it. To make amends, I give you bacon. Bacon on your Facebook. Bacon on your blog. Bacon on TheGeekWhisperer.

Use this site to put this tasty morsel all over the interweb: http://bacolicio.us/. It wont disappoint.

This is the example they used on their site:
http://bacolicio.us/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vegetarianism

I don’t know about you, but I’m already having fun!

21
Jan
09

Zombie Haiku

I haven’t posted in a while, so until I feel more creative, I will leave you with a haiku excerpted from Ryan Mecum’s Zombie Haiku:

Brains brains brains brains brains.

Brains brains brains brains brains brains brains.

Brains brains brains brains brains.

I promise I’ll write again soon :)

08
Jan
09

Cybergeddon is upon us!!

Ahh, fear-mongering at it’s finest.

I read the news. Daily.  There’s a certain satisfaction that comes with depressing yourself by reading about how messed up the whole g-d world is. Exhilarating almost. So, at 1:46 am, eastern standard time, I’m amazed that current events like the Gaza conflict, Japan’s recession, Darfur and heck, the first cat India dying, the FBI would like us to believe that we should really care about cyber wars.  Really? Sure, you admit that this worry comes after nuclear war and weapons of mass destruction, but really?

If there’s a nuclear holocaust, I’m pretty sure I wont be checking my email worrying about trojans in my FREE XXX PORN emails.

I get what they’re trying to warn us about.  Online terrorism could affect our infrastructure is a scary thought, but I always love how these articles act like “how-to guides.” If you were going to pollute our water supply here’s how and where it would be the most deadly.

Bruce Willis always let’s us know all about destruction. I saw Live Free or Die Hard. I know what happens. In the end, some bald guy is going to save the day, so I’m not really worried. Same thing happens in Armageddon, and I know Michael Bay would never exaggerate true events.

You’ve got to just love the media for always wanting to scare the living crap out of us. To see the Yahoo News article I’m ranting about, you can Click Here!

And… just for fun:

03
Jan
09

If and only If zombies eat brains…

Fine Dining

Everyone remembers 6th grade math right?  Truth Tables? Where P equals Q if all things stay constant and all that malarkey?  Well, here’s my reference point:

I’m writing on this site.  Therefore I must be a geek.  If i wasn’t a geek, I couldn’t write on this site.  And so on and so forth.  But I must be honest, there are levels of geekdom that I will just never achieve.  I’m way too lazy for it.  It requires too much effort and follow through.  I mean, as you read this post you’ll realize you’re hardly even getting a review…

So while David posts about Robert Kirkman, his manifesto and the implied future of comics, all I can add is “His zombie comics are effing sweet!”

And they are.  Marvel Zombies is just superb.  Here are two of my favorite things (raindrops and puppies not withstanding), COMBINED INTO AWESOMENESS!  The story, spanning the ultimate universe includes arcs from the Fantastic Four to the Black Panther, all culminating into graphic novels that exceeds expectations in vulgar, graphic and scintillating ways.  The redone covers (every issue of Marvel Zombies has a cover that zombifys a classic Marvel Comics cover), and the art in general, are also superb. (Yay Sean Phillips and Arthur Suydam!)

But it doesn’t end there.  The Walking Dead (one of Kirkman’s creator owned series) from Image is probably one of my favorite story arcs still being published right now.  You would think reading about the post-apocalyptic zombie revolution would get old, but it’s the relationships between the survivors that really keeps me coming back for more.  Plus it’s gory.  Everyone wins.

In the end, that’s why I’m fascinated with zombie literature.   In horror situations, people all of sudden don’t become humane.  They stay evil and wretched, or they maintain their compassion.  Some change out of necessity, but in the end, there are no more distractions besides the living dead to deter people from actually interacting with each other.  (I know this to be true.  Once, when the power went out in college, my roommates went to bed rather than hangout without the constant dim of the light emanating from their Myspace pages).

“In a world ruled by the dead, we are forced to finally start living” – Quoted on the back of every Walking Dead graphic novel, and oh-so-true.

31
Dec
08

Batman vs. Superman… In bed!

Meet The Geek Whisperer’s newest contributor, Arielle, and enjoy her first post:
* * * * * 

It’s kind of like a messed up fortune cookie up there, isn’t it.

Superman vs Batman

To many comic fans, there is an age old argument.  Batman.  Or Superman.  The Dark Knight.  Or the Big Blue Boy Scout.  For David and I, this argument goes back to at least middle school.  Back then, it was all about who was a bigger BAMF.  And obviously, Batman always won.  I mean, come on!  This argument is over before it begins!

However, as I’ve matured in life, or at least pretended too, my arguments for why Batman is way more totally awesome has changed.  As a female of this species (wow, could I be any more geeky?), I’ve come to the stark realization that if I had a choice, I would much prefer to bone Batman.  Alien species and Brody-esque dialogue aside, there’s just no way Clark Kent could ever hold a candle to the freakiness that one could expect to find and enjoy in Bruce Wayne’s boudoir.  It’s just completely inconceivable that the pleasure one could derive from a brooding, masochistic quasi-nihilist would be better served on a self-righteous Truth-Justice-and-the-American-Way platter.  No way.

We’re not factoring in Tom Welling of Smallville, but even if we were considering recent movie casting, Christian Bale still trumps Brandon Routh. Although I enjoy Tim Burton, I’m not going to get into some of the earlier Batman-franchise films. The mere mention of Bat-Nipples renders the later Joel Schumacher films completely inconsequential to any argument.

Bob Kane, Bill Finger, Frank Miller and Jeph Loeb all knew how to create a man with intelligence and grace that is so sexy and appealing to women that I cannot comprehend why merely destroying property value across Metropolis makes a man worthy of our erotic obsession.

Selina Kyle, she totally gets me on this one:

… Yet, there is something to be said about how a “Superman” never leaves his “Lois…”